On
by Cassyopaya
Summary: Hm, how to put this without spoilers? ... During DH, after the chapter The Elder Wand. One character finds their very own King's Cross, and a love thought lost...Obviously full of spoilers...


_**Disclaimer: **_Only most of the plot and writing are mine (did use two or so sentences from DH in the beginning), everything else belongs to Jo Rowling and I thank her for it all!

**Author's note: **This is my first piece of fanfiction ever. Please be gentle. I wrote this partly because I needed closure after finishing DH, and mainly to "console" a friend who needed closure even more than I did. Sounds weird, is true. It may be sugary, but that's what I needed :p

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The snake's fangs pierced his neck. Pain. Excruciating, cruel, all-swallowing pain. White and red dots were quickly appearing before his eyes. The world seemed to crumble until there was nothing left but the pain. He felt his knees collapsing underneath him, felt himself sink down.

The Dark Lord spoke, but the meaning of his words never reached his consciousness. Instead another thought re-formed in his mind; a thought as horrible as the sharp pain that now seemed to flood pulsating, numbing through his entire body, it's origin in the two sharp fangs still holding his neck.

The boy. Potter. He HAD to know. Dumbledore's order could not be failed, not when it had cost so much already.

The fangs suddenly released his neck, and he fell to the side. The pain lessened slightly, but now he could feel his blood -his life- spilling out of him with every beat of his heart. If only his heart would stop. But that wish would not come true – his traitorous heart would keep pumping, pumping until -how ironical- there was nothing left to pump, and thus take his life away like everything had been taken from him before.

Through the waves of dull ache that now shook his body, he tried to think. His shaking fingers found the deep wounds Nagini's fangs had left in his flesh, but he could do nothing to make his blood stop from leaving him.

More feeling it than anything else, his mind acknowledged the Dark Lord leaving the room, leaving and not looking back onto what he must have believed one his most devoted servant. He was left to die alone, alone and despised, just like he had lived his life. The world began to vanish in an ocean of fog. Panic rose in him. The boy! Lily's boy! He needed to know! All would be lost, everything would have been for nothing. Lily would have died in vain.

As if the universe had sensed his need in the worst of moments the boy materialized out of nowhere, pulling the cloak of his father off his body, an unreadable expression on his face. His brain, as if determined to use these last moments to the full extent, took in all of his appearance – the torn clothes, the scratches, the bite mark on his knuckles - the white face bearing the hated features of James Potter. His eyes. Lily's eyes.

Lily! He tried to speak. Potter moved closer and he forced his weak and shaking arms up to meet his robes and pull him close.

"Take… it…" speaking was hard. Speaking hurt "Take… it!" Mustering all the strength he could manage, he concentrated on the incantations and felt the silvery matter carrying his memories leave his body.

Granger appeared on Potter's side, bottling what were his most treasured and his worst memories. Memories that would hopefully make the boy understand. Understand not only the horrible task he had yet to carry out, but also why he, Severus, acted and lived the way he had done. And if he understood, maybe he could forgive. He did not know where this hope had come from, and why -after all these years- he would even want the boy to know what he was about to learn, but it mattered not. Not anymore.

As all of it was securely stored in the flask, relief washed through him, numbing the pain for a short moment.

But no. Not the relief had taken the pain away. He felt very weak. Light headed. There was not enough blood left in his body. It had gone, had left him like Lily had left him those many years before. But it had taken the pain away with it. As Severus Snape felt the darkness closing in on him, he made one last effort to speak.

"Look… at… me…"

And as the boy's eyes turned to meet his own, he felt the world around him vanish. The son's eyes became the mother's eyes, he was being drawn into the green that had once meant the world. He was falling… falling…

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He was lying on the ground. He could feel grass between his fingers. Grass? There was something strange about this. But why? Oh yes! There had been no grass in the Shrieking Shack. Something else had changed as well, was confusing. The Pain. Or rather the lack thereof. There was no pain. He felt better than he had done in a long time. In fact, he felt better than he could remember to ever have felt before.

He slowly opened his eyes. Blue. All he could see was a blue so deep it almost appeared to be violet. Upon turning his head, he thankfully noticed that there was nothing of the pain left in his neck. Underneath the blue sky he could now see – and his eyes widened in surprise – a playground. Not just any playground. He remembered it well; he had visited it so often in his thoughts. It was the playground where he had seen Lily Evans for the very first time. It was gleaming silvery, glittering, laying deserted underneath the cloudless sky.

Silvery?

He concentrated on what he saw. Everything seemed to be made from a silver-shining fog, a fog that formed and defined itself even as he was looking at it. It appeared of a substance not unlike the one he had allowed to leave his mind only moments … years? … ago. Severus got to his feet slowly, relieved that his legs fully supported him.

"Sev!" The soft sound of the voice he had never forgotten. He turned quickly, not willing to believe his ears, but praying for them to not have played a trick on him.

Lily! She was standing only a few metres away from him, smiling, her eyes filled with something familiar he could not quite read. For a second or two, he felt a happiness surging through him as he never had felt it before. Lily! Standing there, looking young, radiant and healthy. Looking whole. But he could not fight fear and remorse quickly overshadowing the happiness, drowning it, brutally and efficiently. After several seconds of just staring at her, a fight of feelings taking place in his mind, he finally spoke, and the words he could not stop.

"Lily! I… I am so sorry, I couldn't… I never meant to… I didn't know it was gonna be you, I would never … never have told him had I known. I am so sorry! You… "

Lily continued to smile, stepped closer, and put her fingers onto his lips.

Her touch was too much for him. He sank to his knees, tears now streaming down his face. And with his tears all those feelings, all the darkness within himself, everything that had poisoned his mind and soul for so long, everything poured out of him, left him free.

"I am so sorry, Lily, for everything! I never wanted it to happen! Never! But …but when it did… I broke that night, something inside me broke and I … Lily, when I saw your boy, when I saw Harry, … He looks so much like James, is so much like him, I just couldn't… I tried my best to protect him, but never could I feel for him anything but…Forgive me, Lily, forgive me…I am so sorry" His voice broke.

And as those last words left him, he realized that they were nothing but the truth. All his feelings of loath and hatred towards James, and towards the son who was so much like him, had vanished, gone as the world he had known had disappeared.

Quickly, Lily knelt down in front of him. "Oh Sev!" She took his hands in her hands, and her green eyes found his. "It is all forgiven!" She smiled. "I admit, we were not overly happy with the way you treated Harry, but where you're going… Well, there is no room for all of this, there is no need anymore. " She lifted a warm hand and softly wiped the tears off his face.

"We?", he whispered. "So James and you…?" He left his question unfinished. Not because it would have been too painful to finish it… but because he was confused by his sudden lack of the feeling. Never before had the thought of Lily and James NOT been followed by a pang of jealousy, pain, and a wave of cold fury. This realization must have shown openly on his face because Lily simply smiled at him. She got back to her feet and extended a hand to him. Severus took it, and Lily helped him stand back up again. Only then she spoke, her voice soft.

"Does it matter?"

He thought for a moment, searching his soul for remains of his former feelings but found them not. His eyes sought hers, and it was then that he saw she already knew his answer. He raised his eyebrows enquiringly.

"Things are different where you're going now, Sev. From the moment of your arrival, you are no longer a shadow of yourself, but you are what cast the shadow in the first place. And this makes all the difference. For what casts the shadow is the positive of your true self, and everything that has made you struggle is lost. Lost and gone forever. What stays is… happiness. True, and perfect happiness. There is no room for jealousy, rules and everything that so often dominated the life we used to live. The only concern we have is the happiness of the loved ones we've left behind, the only remorse is that we cannot be with them."

There was the tiniest of shadows in her eyes and he knew her thoughts were with the son she hardly had had time to get to know.

She took his hand in her hand again. "Come on, let's go!"

"Where are we going?"

Her smile widened. "On" she said. Upon her words, the silver matter forming the playground began to swirl, began to dance, re-formed. And without hesitation he followed her, as she stepped forward towards the two silvery does that were now standing in front of them. As they met them, and where greeted by their touch, Severus pressed Lily's hand, and her eyes smiled into his. And it was in this moment that he could read the expression her eyes carried so openly, the expression he had never been able to read before. It was love. And together they stepped forward, merging with their patronuses, melting into the very essence of hope.

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**Please review :)  
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